Speaking to children about living kidney donation 

Living kidney donation can affect the whole family. If you’re a parent, carer, or donor with children in your life, it’s natural to wonder how best to talk to them about it. This page offers guidance to help explain living kidney donation to children aged 0–18 in a way that’s clear, calm, and reassuring. 

Why It’s Important to Talk to Children About Kidney Donation 

Children are often more aware than we realise. Even very young children can sense when something is changing, and they may feel confused or worried. Open, age-appropriate conversations can help reduce fear, build trust, and give children the confidence that they’ll be cared for and supported throughout the kidney donation process. 

How to Talk to Young Children (Aged under 6) 

Very young children don’t need detailed explanations, but they do need to feel safe and loved.  

At this age, the goal is to offer simple, calm reassurance and help them understand that everything will be okay – even if things look a little different for a while. 

Use short, gentle sentences and familiar words. You might say: 

• “Mummy is going to the hospital to help someone feel better.” 
• “Daddy has a sore tummy because the doctors helped someone with his kidney. He just needs rest.” 

Visual aids can also be helpful. Picture books about hospitals or medical care can make the idea less scary. Soft toys or dolls can be used to “act out” what’s happening – for example, placing a small plaster on a teddy bear’s side to show where your body might feel sore. 

Reinforce the idea that: 

• They’re loved and safe. 
• Their daily routines (like bedtime or nursery) will continue. 
• They will see you again soon after your hospital stay. 

Keep the focus on stability, love, and reassurance. Children don’t need all the medical details, they just need to know they’re not being left out or forgotten. 

Talking to Children (Aged 7–11) 

Children in this age group are often curious and want to understand more about what’s happening. They do not need every medical detail, but they appreciate honesty and clear explanations. Keeping things simple but truthful helps them feel included and respected. 

You might explain the donation like this: 

• “The doctors are going to take one of my kidneys. I have two, and I only need one to stay healthy. The person who gets it will feel much better.” 
• “After the operation, I’ll need to rest at home for a while. I might be tired or sore, but I’ll still be me – and you’ll be looked after.” 

This age group often asks practical questions, such as: 

• “Will it hurt?” 
• “Can you still walk after?” 
• “What happens to your kidney?” 

Answer as simply and honestly as you can: 

• “It might hurt a little at first, but the doctors give me medicine to help.” 
• “I’ll need to rest a bit more than usual, but I’ll get stronger every day.” 
• “My kidney will go to someone who needs it to live. It’s a special way to help someone get better.” 

Encourage them to talk about how they feel. They may worry about you, themselves, or what will change at home. 

Discussing Donation with Teenagers (Aged 12–18) 

Teenagers are likely to understand much more about the need for living kidney donation and what it involves. When talking to them about it, they may respond with a wide range of emotions. Some may be curious or supportive, while others may feel anxious, confused, or even upset. It’s important to be honest, open, and respectful of their views. 

You can start by clearly explaining why you’re donating: 

• “I’m donating a kidney because I want to help someone live a healthier life. It’s something I’ve thought about carefully and feel strongly about.” 
• “I’ll be looked after by doctors and will need time to rest, but it’s a safe procedure.” 

Teens might ask more direct or difficult questions, such as: 

• “What if something goes wrong?” 
• “Are you sure you have to do this?” 
• “Will you be in pain?” 
• “Will our life be different afterward?” 

It’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is being open and validating their feelings: 

• “I understand why you’d be worried. I’ve had those thoughts too. The doctors have explained the risks of kidney donation, and they’re very low.” 
• “You don’t have to agree with my decision, but I hope you understand why it’s important to me.” 
• “Yes, there might be some discomfort while I recover, but I’ll be okay – and we’ll get through it together.” 

Let them know it’s normal to have mixed feelings, and keep the conversation ongoing: 

• “You can talk to me any time if you have more questions – or if you just want to say how you’re feeling.” 
• “It’s okay if you’re not sure how to feel about it right now.” 

Teenagers value honesty, consistency, and the chance to be heard. Including them in the process helps build trust and shows that you respect their role in the family. Even if they don’t say much, knowing they’re being kept informed can make a big difference.  

Let them know their thoughts and feelings matter, and remind them that they’re not alone – this is something you’re all facing together, as a family. By keeping the lines of communication open, you give them the space and support they need to process the experience in their own way. 

Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Needs 

Children of all ages may show their emotions in different ways. Some might ask lots of questions, while others might go quiet or act out. Watch for signs of worry or confusion, and offer plenty of reassurance. Keep communication open and give them space to share their feelings before, during, and after the donation process. 

Practical Tips for Family Preparation 

Knowing what to expect can help children feel more secure. Explain who will take care of them while you’re in hospital and how long you’ll need to rest at home. Where possible, keep daily routines as normal as you can. Let teachers or childcare providers know what’s happening so they can offer support if needed. 

If you’re considering living kidney donation and have children in your life, you don’t have to navigate these conversations alone. Speak to your healthcare team, your transplant coordinator, or our Relationship Manager – they can offer additional resources and advice tailored to your family’s needs.