A routine work medical appointment picked up that my husband Carl had kidney disease. We were told that he would require yearly monitoring of his kidneys but that some people lived their whole lives without needing a transplant or dialysis.
(He was told he’d either live his whole life without anything bad happening to them, or he could go into kidney failure at any point in the future.)
We tried to get on with life as much as we can while still being aware of that knowledge. Push forward to 2022 and he went for his yearly kidney review and was told his kidneys were now failing. From there, action would need to be taken.
Before then, I’d always jokingly said I would give him a kidney if he needed it! When we got to that stage, of course I wanted to actually follow through on it. Sadly my kidney wasn’t a match so I wasn’t able to donate to him directly. However, the transplant team explained the sharing scheme to us, where I could donate to someone else who was a better match for my kidney and Carl would get a different kidney that was a better match for him from another donor. It just made sense to us, so we agreed to enter the scheme.
So the work-up process began, this was very thorough and gave me plenty of opportunity to talk through the process what would happen before and after I donated. We were put into a matching run and fortunately we were matched the first time, we had been prepared to accept that some pairs enter numerous matching runs. We felt amazed and grateful that everything lined up for us, however we were nervous.
I have a really strong relationship with my renal unit. They are absolutely amazing. Even right up until the transplant itself they made it clear that it was okay to say no if I wanted to. I was never in any doubt, I wanted to donate to help my husband and other people in our chain, but it was good to hear they always had my best interests at heart.
We got to the weekend before my pre-operation appointment, I had to swab for covid as I worked in a GP practice and at that time it was best practice. I was distraught to find out I had covid.
Words cannot explain how I felt. During the run up to the operation I had been isolating as best I could, it felt like my world had ended. I had to wait until Monday to speak with my co-ordinator, my husband was distraught at the thought the transplant chain may not go ahead if I could not be operated on.
I was really worried the rest of the donation chain wouldn’t go ahead after I wasn’t able to donate as planned. Thankfully the transplant teams arranged for the chain to go ahead as planned.
The surgery day itself was fine although I was understandably nervous. I lived off adrenaline and pain relief! I’ve had two c-sections before but no other surgeries, so didn’t really know what to expect or where my own pain thresholds would be.
I had a lot of problems with my bowels afterwards, lots of constipation and wind. I’ve now been told this is a relatively common side effect. I wish I had known that before to help set my expectations.
Once I was home, I was fine. I couldn’t get comfy in bed but that was about the worst of it. I was given enough pain relief but didn’t really need it in the end. My mobility was fine, though walking to the end of the road was like running a marathon.
Obviously before the transplant, most of our friends and family knew almost nothing about the kidneys and transplantation! I know I didn’t have a clue. But it was a real learning experience throughout the whole process and we’re both now experts on the topic.
I recently became a Living Kidney Donation Buddy. Everyone’s journey is different, but it’s about giving my own lived experience as someone who’s been through it and learnt a lot about the process. Even if someone talks to me as a Buddy and realises it’s not for them that means the conversation was helpful in making the right decision for them.
