"She’s the best mum in the world because she gave me life twice."
As a child, I spent almost all my time out and about in the Cornwall countryside with my sister and two brothers. At the age of 14, however, I was diagnosed with kidney issues. It felt like my life changed in an instant.
In Cornwall, there’s nowhere really for children to go if they have problems with their kidneys. The healthcare professionals in the area couldn’t work out what was wrong with me, so I was sent off to intensive care in Bristol’s children hospital and then Southmead kidney unit for five weeks, away from my family, where they could look into it further. It felt like I was being thrown straight into adult life and look after myself, so it forced me to grow up really quickly.
After more tests, the team at Bristol found out that I have an issue where my white blood cells attack my kidney (and more!), causing their function to get worse over time and eventually fail. I was put on dialysis immediately, though things did start to improve once they knew what we were dealing with and I was able to come off the machine relatively quickly. I was given a lot of medication to take, and then just tried to get on with my life as best I could.
Things went along that way for a long time. It was only when I was 24 and had given birth to my two boys when my kidneys finally reached the end of the line, so to speak. We knew more about kidney disease this time around, and my mum was really forceful in getting the local doctors to understand the situation. We didn’t want me to go on dialysis again and be forced to live my life based on the machine, especially with two young boys to look after. We knew that my best bet would be to find a kidney donor.
I was really lucky and honoured, as so many people around me came forward to donate. My mum, my husband, my stepdad and my brother all began the tests to see if they were able to donate. Amazingly both my husband and mum were found to be a match for me. After a lot of chatting, we decided that my mum would move forward with the process because she was a slightly better match and she was older, meaning my husband could then potentially donate if I needed another one in the future. Also, because my mum is my mum!
What followed was an absolute whirlwind of tests and checks to make sure the donation was able to go ahead. It was a lot for all of us. The process was a lot longer and involved a lot more than we expected.
On top of that, I couldn’t help but worry that my mum was putting herself in danger for me by donating a kidney. I knew it was her decision and it was what she wanted to do, but it was a feeling I wasn’t really able to get rid of. I brought this up with my mum at one point. She replied “I’m not just doing it for you. Your two boys need a mum. It’s the right thing to do.”
We were given a few options for when the transplant would take place. We both just wanted to get it done so we picked the first one available – which happened to be April Fool’s Day!
We drove up to Plymouth the day before and stayed in a hotel near the hospital, then both went into the hospital at 7:00am the following morning. They did a few final tests on both of us to make sure everything was still good enough for the operations to go ahead. That was definitely the most nerve-wracking morning of my life, just feeling like I was waiting to be told the reason why we wouldn’t be able to go ahead. In the end, we got the all clear and I was taken down for surgery!
My mum had already been in surgery before me. It was all very emotional and surreal, knowing she was in the operating room next to mine. Before I went down I even heard them through the wall, waking her up after her operation.
I had been told that I would immediately feel the difference after my kidney transplant. The reality is, the moment I woke up in the recovery ward, all my thoughts were on my mum and whether she was okay. We were on different wards at this point, so I just wanted to see her and make sure everything was okay before I even thought about myself and how I felt.
I was able to see her quite quickly. She was really tired – obviously I had just received a new kidney, while her body was still getting to grips with only having one – but otherwise the operation had gone well and she was told she’d be okay after the recovery period.
I was allowed home after a few days. It was only really when I got home that I finally noticed the difference in myself. I would never have described myself as ill before the transplant, but after my transplant I realised that how I had felt before wasn’t normal at all. So many people I saw in the weeks afterwards said that they could instantly see the difference in me. I had energy that I hadn’t had in years and there was a colour back in my skin.
It was brilliant that we had each other for company during our recovery. We helped each other through everything and understood what the other one was going through. We even had matching scars! I remember one day soon after the operation when we needed to pick one of my boys up from school. Mum has a really heavy front door, so heavy that we even struggled to open it on a normal day, let alone so soon after our operations. We both found it so funny that we couldn’t open it, but even laughing hurt because of the stomach scars. There we were, both laughing so hard and in pain trying to open a heavy door!
On Mother’s Day, I wrote in my mum’s card that said she’s the best mum in the world because she gave me life twice. I wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t have her kidney. Because of her, my boys have grown up with a mum who can do all the things you expect a mum to do. I have the energy to actually play with them. I’m more positive in myself, and more active. It’s had that ripple effect of not just improving my life, but all those around me. My mum is an absolute superhero for being able to do that with her donation.
"The difference we’ve seen in my sister since her transplant has been absolutely incredible."
Read"It felt just like donating blood, but with more checks. If I could help someone, then I wanted to do it."
ReadWhen his younger brother, George, was suddenly diagnosed with kidney disease, Ed was determined to support him in any way he could.
Read"Someone out there in need of a kidney has been set free and I don’t even feel any different to how I was before."
ReadA kidney donation from John's daughter meant that he is now able to enjoy time with his great granddaughter.
Read"I hope my story shows just what a wonderful, life-saving gift it is to donate a kidney."
Read"I’ve seen how donating a kidney can improve a family and give somebody back their life after years of suffering.”
Read"If I had three kidneys, I’d absolutely donate another one tomorrow, unquestionably."
Read“I’m a great believer that when you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”
Read"It’s now been almost 13 years since I donated, and nothing has changed in terms of my health or my lifestyle."
Read"Here was a chance to do something kind without having to wait for someone I know to need my support."
Read"Seeing how it helped my brother has made it all so, so worth it. As much as the journey was scary, it’s proven to be so rewarding."
Read“I wanted to share my kidney donation story to help build awareness of the good that we all can do to help someone worse off.”
Read“It’s amazing how a small amount of inconvenience on my part can make such a huge difference to someone else.”
Read20 years ago, David's enthusiasm for life was put to the test when he found out his kidneys were failing and he would need a transplant.
ReadAisha is determined to raise awareness of living kidney donation and encourage more people in South Asian communities to consider donating.
Read"My husband was living on dialysis, and I saw the constant reality of what that meant for him."
Read"I set myself clear goals to return to fitness and running after my kidney donation."
Read"This is me, Louise Sach, shortly after I was diagnosed with chronic renal failure."
Read"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
ReadMandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
Read"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
Read"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
