In 2014, my husband Kirit was told that he had developed something called ‘FSGS kidney disease’. In layman’s language, that meant he had scars on his kidneys which stopped them from doing their job of cleaning out his blood.
The healthcare team told us that he would soon need a kidney transplant, or else he would need to start dialysis. They explained how dialysis happens and the different options available, and they all looked quite painful. It would involve him being hooked up to a machine for many hours, several days a week. He would also need to start carefully controlling his food and drink, only drinking a certain amount of water each day and cooking all his meals in a certain way.
I already knew my blood type and that I was a universal donor, so I immediately put my name forward to donate a kidney for him. Our hope was that he could have a transplant before he needed to begin dialysis. The time had come where our children had grown up and left the house, we had grandkids on the way, and we wanted to enjoy our lives as best we could.
I think a big inspiration for me offering to donate was my dad. When he was in his late 70s, he told us that he wanted his whole body donated for education in India. It made me think – if he can give his whole body for such a wonderful cause after he dies, then what’s stopping me from just giving my kidney while I’m still alive?
There were a lot of tests over the next few months to make sure I had two healthy kidneys and would be able to donate, including blood tests, MRI scans, an ECG test – at every step the healthcare team were very good at keeping us updated and explaining why each test was needed. I felt very well informed at every step of the journey.
Unfortunately before we were able to finish the tests, Kirit was told that his kidneys had continued to deteriorate, and he would need to begin dialysis. This involved him being attached to a dialysis machine three times a week, for four to six hours each time.
The tests continued and thankfully I was told the wonderful news that I was able to donate, and that my kidneys were a match for Kirit.
We messaged our two children to let them know the news. My daughter was really happy to hear I could donate. She is a physiotherapist, and said she knew that a kidney from a living donor lasted longer than one from a deceased donor. My son was also happy about the good news and accepted that it was the right thing to do for his dad, though he did tell us he was very scared about the idea of both of his parents having major surgery at the same time. To be honest I hadn’t thought about that point before, and we had a lot of conversations to make sure everyone was happy with the situation.
We were given a date for our operation, in May 2016, however unfortunately it was cancelled at the last minute because Kirit’s final blood test results were not okay. Throughout the whole process they made it clear that the donation would only go ahead if it was safe to do so, and if there was as high a chance as possible that it would be a success. The operation was postponed to July – the month we were expecting our first grandchild.
