The tests themselves were all relatively straightforward. After one particular sampling, they discovered that I had persistent tiny traces of blood in my urine, which was flagged as a concern as it could be a sign that I had a malfunction in my kidneys and therefore wouldn’t be able to donate them. This led to me having to do a lot more tests to rule out any issues. In the end they couldn’t find anything wrong with my kidneys! I was told that apparently a small percentage were like me, and could well be walking around with faint traces of blood in their urine but having no other issues, and never knowing unless they were specifically tested for it. With that in mind, they said they were happy for me to move forward with the transplantation.
I wasn’t too bothered by the length of time the tests took, as I understood they wanted to make sure I was healthy and my kidney would be the best chance of success for Brian before I could donate. However, it was tricky knowing that all the while I was being tested, his kidney function was declining.
By the time we got the all-clear, I had turned 60, which suddenly meant I had a whole other raft of tests that needed doing to ensure I was healthy enough to donate. It was a lot to take, but I have to say the team who looked after us were absolutely incredible. They were really supportive and explained everything that was going on.
By the time everything was in place and we were given a transplant date, Brian had really deteriorated. He had been on haemodialysis for three months and his kidney was functioning at 9%. He had become very pale, he wasn’t eating properly, and he could barely hold a conversation because of how constantly exhausted he felt.
Unfortunately our transplant date had to get delayed twice due to ill health. It was a huge blow, both to us and the wider family. When we were given a third date for it to happen, we didn’t get our hopes up because our experience helped us understand the reality that it may not go ahead. However, the stars aligned and the operation managed to go ahead!
We were checked into hospital the day before the transplant. I certainly didn’t sleep very well! I had a visit from the surgeon who came to talk everything through, and then spoke with an anaesthetist who did some last-minute checks.
She said to me, “I want you to know – when you wake up, you’ll feel like you’ve just been hit by a train.”
It felt quite an odd thing for someone to say in the hours before the operation! But actually I’m so glad that she did. When I woke up after the surgery, I didn’t feel great at all, and I was glad to know that was completely normal. However, I also felt incredibly happy – it had actually happened!
Almost immediately I was told that everything had gone really well for Brian, as well as myself. That meant the world. I was able to see him quite soon after, and he was bouncing off the walls! The difference in him was immediately noticeable, it was uncanny. The kids were so happy to see the difference in him too.
In terms of how I felt, it was as though my own body knew that an adjustment was needed. I definitely didn’t feel great for a few weeks as my body worked out the ‘new normal’, but after that – wow! The more time went on, the more I felt back to normal, as if I still had both of my kidneys.
During one of my follow-up appointments, I heard about the UK Living Kidney Donation Buddy Support Service. I jumped at the chance to join as I very much wanted to make any contribution I could to be able to tell people that, for a very short lived amount of pain, the gain is enormous (for both the person you donate to and to yourself – there is no feeling like it when you’ve played your part in saving a life).
Everyone’s different, and kidney donation isn’t for everyone. But in my situation, I’m so happy I did it. I was scared about the major surgery, of course I was, but I understood that feeling was completely normal. I had so many people there to hold my hand through the process and support me, it really couldn’t have gone better.
Looking back at it all, it’s as though I’ve been riding an emotional high ever since my donation. It’s indescribable. I’ve been able to see my husband return to his best self. He’s not an unwell person any more, and his kidney function is still good. The difference we see in him is amazing.
And honestly, I don’t notice a difference day-to-day. Quite early on in my journey I’d pretty much decided that, had I not been a match for Brian, I would have gone on to do an altruistic donation. I’d seen so many people who were very sick just for the want of a kidney, and the process was so well managed that I was as confident as I could be that I’d be ok. Why would I not help them if I was able?
If I had three kidneys I’d do it again in a heartbeat!
