I donated a kidney to my sister in 2002. It’s one of the most worthwhile things I’ve ever done.
I’m the eldest of seven children, though we’d all admit we’re not a close family. I was visiting my parents to deliver presents for Christmas when I found out my sister had total kidney failure. I didn’t know much at all about my body or my kidneys (I didn’t even know what blood group I was!) so in a throw-away comment said that if she ever needed a volunteer I’d happily donate one of my kidneys… and the rest is history.
Several members of the family ended up putting themselves forward to potentially donate. My sister and I are very close, so I remember saying to her before doing the blood test “I bet it’ll be me!”. We’d always had a strong connection.
Soon after, they rang me up to say I was the best match out of everyone being tested, and asked if I wanted to move ahead with the donation. I instantly said yes. There was no question. At that point I moved forward with the rest of the testing process and they didn’t test the others unless I dropped out or a test showed I wasn’t able to donate.
The rest of the tests were done at a fair speed. Everything started in January and were all done by July, which we thought was alright given how much had to be checked. One test that made me laugh was where they put this glowing dye in me before they scanned me, allowing them to see my insides! It was all a weird but interesting experience.
More tests were needed after that to make sure I was healthy enough to donate and live with one kidney. The final test was a scan to map the arteries into the kidneys, to see which one they’d transplant. It landed the same week of the British Grand Prix, which was nearby the hospital. The traffic was so bad that I ended up missing the appointment and we had to reschedule!
My surgeon suggested that the kidney could be mapped by the old method of a panoramic x-ray. My nurse contact was able to sort this with the help of the x-ray dept at the Radcliffe Hospital. They got everyone in early to do it so the operation could go ahead as planned. I think is so wonderful that they did that.
Everyone I told about the donation either thought I was extremely mad or very brave. Honestly I never gave the idea a second thought. Of course I was going to do it, and I didn’t think of it as a big deal. I’ve got a spare kidney, the tests were saying I could live healthily with one kidney, and I’m a match for my sister. Why wouldn’t I? In the end most people rallied around the idea.
The operation was scheduled and went off without a hitch. The surgeon came in before it happened to talk everything through and really put me at ease. My sister was in the same hospital for her transplant but in a different room, and she kept popping in to check everything was going alright before I went down around lunch time.
I remember going into the theatre and seeing a couple of other kidney ward nurses in the room. They asked if it was okay for them to watch the operation for learning purposes. It turned out one of them was a woman I’d gone to school with! I got chatting with her afterward and she said she’d carried my kidney up in the lift when it was on ice and on the way to my sister. We hadn’t seen each other for 24 years, then there she was helping with my kidney donation. Incredible!
Waking up after the operation felt a bit weird. I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. I spent the next few days in hospital recovering.
A few friends and family members came to visit me while I was still in. One of my friends didn’t drive, but caught the train all the way from Northampton to Oxford on a Sunday just to see me. That made me feel very special.
Once I was able to get out of my bed I got to go over to my sister’s room and see her. It was a really special moment for both of us. We were already close, but the whole experience definitely brought the two of us even closer together.
I didn’t know at the time as she didn’t tell me, but the day after our operation the kidney failed. They managed to get it back working, but it just shows there can be real highs and lows to the experience.
Around 6 months before the operation, I had started a new business. The doctors told me I would need up to three months off to recover at home so I planned everything around that – but in the end I only needed five weeks before I was back working again. I was able to go back to life fairly quickly. Even the first day I got home from hospital my friend Petra came round and we got out for a walk in the sunshine.
A fun story about Petra – I lost contact with her some time after the donation, then last year in 2025 we got back in touch with each other. She said my donation had ended up inspiring her and led to her donating one of her kidneys to a complete stranger in 2024! She donated in a kidney swap as you don’t have to match with someone to donate.
Donating my kidney is probably the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. It’s something I’d totally recommend to anyone considering it. Yes, it’s not a perfect road and there can be ups and downs in the process, but at the end of the day you could have the opportunity to change a life and barely feel the difference in yourself in the long run. It’s definitely changed my outlook on life for the better. I think I’m a more empathetic person because of it.
One thing one of the renal team told me was that he’d expect my kidney to give my sister 10 good years, but we could hope it’d keep going for 20. At the time of writing, it’s now been 24 years! To be able to give her 24 years of a more normal life is just incredible.
One of her best friends said to me “thank you for giving me my friend back”. She explained my sister could live a far more normal life than before because of the donation. She could carry on working, she had a new boyfriend, and she’d be able to watch her grandchildren grow up. What could be better than that?
