Tony’s Story

I’ve been with my partner since 2004, when her son Jack was 4 years old. Early on she explained how Jack had kidney disease and had a kidney transplant when he was two. I didn’t know much at all about kidney disease and transplantation before then. I was an engineer in the Royal Navy at the time, so it wasn’t my forte! I learnt a lot in those early years as we watched him grow.

Initially we started looking to see if any direct family members could donate. Sadly his mum couldn’t as she had breast cancer. His sister could potentially donate, but she was just 3-4 years older and we decided it was better to wait until she was older. A few other family members also got tested but sadly no-one was viable. So I thought – why wouldn’t I get tested in case I could donate?

We did a few initial tests and discovered I had perfect kidneys for donation, but that I wasn’t a good match for Jack. Then they mentioned the pooled programme, where I could donate to someone who was a good match for my kidney, and in return Jack could get a better matching kidney himself. It just felt like the right thing to do. Jack was a son to me, so if I could help him get a kidney by giving my kidney to someone else, why wouldn’t I?

I had all sorts of tests after that to make sure I was healthy enough to donate. In the meantime, they were working hard to prevent Jack from going back onto dialysis. Thankfully they were able to do that and the operation was pre-emptive for him, which was fantastic.

I donated my kidney in the summer of 2019. I’d been to so many Transplant Games before then and spoken to so many donors that I took it all in my stride! I felt like I had a wealth of information from donor families and my transplant team, so I had no major worries.

The day itself went very well. There were no issues whatsoever. I walked myself into theatre and sat on the bed. They told me I’d soon wake up and it’d all be done. Sure enough, next thing I woke up in the recovery room 3-4 hours later. All I wanted was a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit!

In the days after the operation, I was discharged and able to recuperate in a Bristol Area Kidney Patient Association House near the hospital, so we weren’t far away from Jack while he still needed a few more days to recuperate in the hospital.

By four weeks after the operation I felt like I could go back to normal life, though I still needed to give myself a little more time for the internal scars to heal. By eight weeks I felt completely back to my normal self.

During that recovery period, Jack wrote to his kidney donor to say thank you. We were told his donor was an altruistic donor. The two of them actually ended up meeting in February – it was a really emotional day for all of us.

Since that recovery period, I’ve basically got back to normal life and Jack’s gone from strength to strength. He works for the NHS now, and is getting married next year. Life has really taken off for him!

A while after donating, Southmead hospital asked if I would be happy to speak to someone who was considering donating to their daughter. He was a keen runner and was worried about how donating would affect his fitness afterwards. I said it wouldn’t be the end of his running at all – at the Transplant Games I’d met people who could still do it all, both distance and sprinting, without any problems. It felt good being able to share my experiences with him.

Nowadays I’m trying to find the right sport that I can do in the Transplant Games! I’ve been going for so long – we’re going to a wedding of two people we met at the Games. I first met their families when they were 13-14 year olds, and now they’re getting married! It’s such a wonderful place to meet with other people in the transplant community, who’ve all been through the same thing. I can’t wait for the next one.