Twenty-five years later, just as James was preparing to retire from the Army, he was diagnosed with kidney failure.
Because of his family history, he had always been aware of his kidney health. He looked after himself, exercised regularly and maintained a healthy lifestyle, but despite everything, the disease still caught up with him.
When I found out he needed a kidney transplant, there was no question in my mind. I wanted to be tested to see if I could donate to him.
James has always been a reserved and stoic person. He is a man who has achieved extraordinary things but never seeks recognition for any of them. He was awarded the Military Cross by the Queen for his service on operations, yet he barely mentioned it. When I asked what he had done to earn such a prestigious honour, his response was simple:
“I just did my job.”
That sums up the kind of person he is, and why I have always had such enormous respect for him.
I contacted my local living kidney donor coordinators to begin the process. They were absolutely brilliant, arranging appointments around my work commitments and availability. Throughout months of tests and assessments, they explained everything clearly – from the donation process itself to the possible effects afterwards.
I always felt supported and appreciated, even though I had expected to be the one helping others.
The first blood tests showed that I was a suitable match for James. Amazingly, his wife was also being tested and turned out to be an excellent match too. I don’t know what the odds of that are, but it was reassuring to know he had two potential donors.
In the end, his wife went ahead with the donation while I remained on standby in case I was needed. Thankfully, everything went smoothly. The transplant was a success, and both James and his wife made excellent recoveries. Today, they are both doing incredibly well.
Although I couldn’t donate to James, the coordinators thanked me for my support and introduced me to the idea of altruistic kidney donation.
Until then, I hadn’t realised it was possible to donate a kidney to a complete stranger.
They explained how the process worked and gave me information to read through. The more I learned, the more it made sense. Once I understood what was involved, the decision felt surprisingly straightforward.
If I could help change someone’s life, why wouldn’t I?
Another long series of tests followed to make sure I was healthy enough to donate. Thankfully, every result came back positive.
At the time, I was still serving as a police officer. One day, while on duty, I received a call from the transplant team. They had just completed the latest matching run – a process carried out several times a year to match donors with people waiting for a kidney.
A recipient had been found.
Then came the question:
“Are you ready to donate this week?”
Suddenly, everything became very real.
The operation was scheduled just a few days later. My wife and son drove me to the hospital, although COVID restrictions meant they couldn’t come inside with me.
Before I went in, I gave the nursing staff a box of chocolates as a small thank you for all their support.
I also asked the renal team if they could take a photograph of my kidney.
After all, how often do you get an opportunity like that?
They laughed and promised they would try.
The operation itself went well. I walked into theatre on my own, but when I woke up afterwards, I was in considerable pain. Before surgery, I had specifically asked not to be given morphine because I knew I reacted badly to it. However, the pain was so intense that I eventually changed my mind.
After some rest, I woke up again feeling much more comfortable.
I spent seven nights in hospital while the team monitored my recovery. It was a little lonely at times, but my spirits were lifted when my coordinator told me the transplant had been successful.
Knowing that my kidney was already helping someone else made everything worthwhile.
When I was discharged, my wife collected me and I began a twelve-week recovery at home. The recovery was lengthy but otherwise uncomplicated.
Like many people, I was eager to get back to normal life as quickly as possible. Looking back, I returned to work too soon and expected too much of myself. I wasn’t fully acknowledging the physical and emotional impact of what I had been through.
As a result, my mental health began to suffer.
Thankfully, during one of my follow-up appointments, I received excellent support and was able to access the help I needed. With that support, I gradually got myself back on track.
Several years later, I’m in great health. I regularly go to the gym, lead an active lifestyle and now teach at Gloucestershire College.
Donating a kidney has made no noticeable difference to my day-to-day life.
Physically, the impact on me has been minimal.
For the person who received my kidney, however, it may have been life-changing.
People sometimes congratulate me or call me a hero, but I don’t see it that way.
I’m not a hero.
I went to sleep, woke up again and carried on with my life. In many ways, the testing process beforehand was more demanding than the operation itself.
Somewhere out there is a person who had to endure kidney failure while waiting for a transplant. They are the person who deserves the recognition.
All I did was share something I don’t miss.
