My dad was diagnosed with kidney failure around 26 years ago. I was quite young at the time so don’t remember much of it, but he was really unwell. He was very fit and into his running, but sadly these things can happen to anyone.
We did a sponsored walk to get the money to build a dialysis room in the house, as he needed the treatment twice a day to stay alive. His illness was a huge part of our life as a family. Then, I remember the phone going off at 4:00am one day with the good news that they had found him a kidney. Soon after he went off to Liverpool and got his first kidney transplant, which made the world of difference.
20+ years of normal family life passed, and then very sadly we noticed his kidney function slowing down again. I live in South Wales and the rest of the family live in North Wales so I wasn’t around to see the deterioration, but my sister kept me updated.
I went back to see the family a little later and saw exactly what she meant. We went to the beach and he had to hold my arm just to walk down a small hill. It was such a stark difference compared to the energetic jokey dad I knew.
On the drive home, I said to my wife that I wanted to look into whether I can donate a kidney for him.
The testing process
My original plan was to keep it a secret from my dad and then, if I was a match, I could reveal it to him. But the transplant team explained that wasn’t how it works and I needed to be open and honest with him for it to happen.
I phoned up my dad. I told him that I knew he hadn’t ever asked anyone to help, but I could clearly see he wasn’t his best self and I wanted to help. We didn’t know when a kidney would come from the waiting list, so I was going to see if I was a match for him, then take it from there.
I also said I’d prefer us not to tell my siblings that I was being tested. This was something I was choosing to do, but it wouldn’t be fair to put that pressure on them to make the same decision. If it turned out I wasn’t a match, there was no need to tell them anything.
The testing process was more intense than I had expected it to be. They took more blood than I knew I had! In the end it all came back really positive – I was a match for him, and I was healthy enough to donate. The only thing they advised was that I could lose a little more weight if I wanted to, to help with the recovery process, but it wasn’t necessary for me to donate. I was fine with that as it gave me something I could control and focus on.
The operation
I wasn’t really nervous at all through the testing process. The nerves only really kicked in the night before the operation. When the time came to go to the hospital, I walked the two miles myself and checked in.
A nurse came and explained everything I should expect and the final set of tests that would be needed before the operation. Once that was done I was able to relax a bit. I chatted to my wife and called my dad, then was able to get some sleep before waking up on operation day.
They wheeled me down to the theatre and gave me an epidural around 8:30am. Next thing I knew I was waking up at noon!
The recovery period
By the time I came to, the kidney had been helicoptered across to dad in Liverpool. Honestly I didn’t feel great at first – obviously I’d just been sliced open – but I slept for a good bit longer to recover which definitely helped.
About 11:00pm that night, dad video called the whole family. It was incredible to see how he was doing. He was up and about, walking around his ward and telling us he felt great! Even his scar looked great, much better than mine. His surgeon must have had an incredibly steady hand!
He was able to go home about a week later. Sadly he deteriorated at first and had to go back in for some checks, but a couple of weeks after that he was home again and hasn’t had any issues since. He’s gone back to being the active, healthy dad we all know and love. At Christmas, my aunt (dad’s sister) said that she had seen him at his worst and can therefore see the benefit the transplant gave him. She was so grateful. It meant a lot to hear that.
Returning to regular life – and more!
As I said, I was in a bit of pain in the days after the operation, but I quickly healed back up. 26 weeks after the operation I did a triathlon, just to see if I would still be able to. It was a great race and I really enjoyed myself. I felt like there was a gremlin on my shoulder saying I’d never return to the same level of fitness – before the transplant, a lot of the people I told I was donating kept doubting I would be able to. Those seeds of doubt were always whispering in the back of my mind. It was great to be able to put that gremlin to rest.
Since then I’ve continued to push myself, to show that I can still do these big things with one kidney. So far they’ve all been a success. I even completed Iron Man Wales, which was an absolutely awesome experience.
If I’ve learnt anything from the whole experience, it’s not to let the mind limit your potential after you’ve done something so amazing.
