A few years ago I was listening to a podcast called Science(ish). I can’t remember what the topic was for that episode, but they started talking about altruism. One of the hosts mentioned that some people donated kidneys to complete strangers and how that seemed like a lot to them. It planted a little seed inside me – I thought, “I would do that!”
The right time to donate
My child was only one year old, so it didn’t feel like the right time to investigate it further, but I stored it away in my mind to look into a little later down the line.
Around 2021 I started looking into living kidney donation more seriously. I’m not sure what the trigger was. My child was 3 by then and was more independent. I’d be able to explain to him what was happening, and why he couldn’t jump up and down on mummy’s tummy for a bit!
I started reading up on the literature out there about what it involved and how it would affect me. Then I got in touch with my local transplant coordinator.
I talked to my partner right from the start about what I was thinking. He had lots of questions, understandably. We did a lot of our learning together and he came to the appointments with me, which helped him understand everything involved and eased his fears a bit.
I only told the rest of my family once I was sure I was going ahead with the donation. They also had lots of questions about the recovery and if it would affect my lifespan or quality or life, but once I showed that I had done my research and had considered it a lot – I wasn’t just doing it on a whim – then they came around quickly. I friend I told said that it was very on-brand for me!
The build-up process
The testing process to see if I could donate was okay. The worst bit was driving an hour up and down to Portsmouth hospital every couple of months. I worked from home for a medical health charity which made it easier, and they were really understanding. There was a bit of logistics trying to work around early morning appointments but thankfully everything was doable.
All the results came back normal, which was really reassuring. It was good in terms of the transplant, but also a relief just to know about myself!
The hardest part was the suspense of it all. I was approved to donate in theory, but I still had to wait for them to find someone in need who matched my kidney. I certainly wouldn’t call it hard (it would be much harder as a recipient), but not knowing when this big operation would take place was weird. Thankfully work was really understanding about how I’d need to book medical leave but couldn’t confirm when.
Maybe a month after my tests came back, I had a call to say that they had found someone who was a match for my kidney, but they needed to see if they were well enough to get the transplant. Sadly that wasn’t able to go ahead in the end, but in the next matching run they found another recipient. It took around 15 months from my first enquiry to the date of the transplant.
Operation day
I slept so badly the night before the operation because of the anticipation of it all. I had set so many alarms to make sure I would wake up on time, but kept waking up every hour on my own to make sure I hadn’t missed it!
I honestly don’t remember much after getting to hospital. Everyone was really supportive and I felt very well looked after. They explained how, even on the day, I could back out at any point if I had a change of heart. I didn’t, but it was reassuring to be told that.
The last thing I remember is shivering going into the theatre. Maybe because it was cold, or maybe it was adrenaline! Then the next thing was me waking up a good few hours later feeling really drowsy.
Back to my life
I first remember feeling dizzy and sleepy, and then going back to sleep. When I’d woken up the next time I felt a bit more myself. I was told the kidney went to someone who didn’t have a direct match themselves, and ended up starting a chain of two other donations. I thought that was absolutely amazing.
The one tip I’d have for anyone else donating is to have stuff to keep yourself amused during recovery, and keep it within grabbing distance! I had a book in my bag but I couldn’t roll over to get out. I tried so hard to will it out with my mind, but in the end another patient got it for me.
I stayed in hospital for two nights after the operation to recovery. It was pretty noisy in the ward, but otherwise it was alright. During my screening I remember them asking me why I wanted to donate now, when my child was so young. I answered that this was the best shape I’ll probably ever be in, so why not do it now to help with the recovery period. Maybe that was true, as the rest of my recovery was absolutely fine.
Within a few weeks after the operation I remember saying to someone “if I could grow my kidney back, I’d do it every year.” I feel so fortunate being in a position where I could donate one of my kidneys to someone more in need of it.
I went back to work on a staggered start around two weeks after the operation. I felt tired, but it was just working from a desk in my home so thankfully not very physical. Within 4-5 weeks I was back driving and everything opened back up for me. Nowadays, I forget I’ve done it half the time.
If you’re genuinely interested and feel like donating a kidney is something you could do, then look into it. There are so many points in the journey that could mean you’re not able to donate, or that it’s not the right time in life for you. Learn everything you can, then you’ll be in a position to see if it’s right for you.
