That kidney lasted for over eight years before it began to fail. After that, Lou was told she would need a live donation. Again, I offered my kidney and we restarted the process to see if I was still healthy enough to donate.
I went through all the tests at Liverpool. I’d been through everything before, so they weren’t too onerous. Once everything was checked, I was told that I was still able to donate a kidney to my cousin. They explained that we still weren’t a great match for one another, however receiving a kidney from a living donor offers so many benefits that it was definitely still worth it.
We worked with the hospital to find a suitable operation date that worked for everyone (I didn’t want it happening during my daughter’s GCSEs). I had one final round of tests the week before the operation, then was admitted into hospital the evening before the surgery. My husband and daughter stayed in Lou’s house while I was in hospital, and our older boys stayed at home (for dog-minding duties!).
I’ll always be grateful to my managers at my job for sanctioning my leave. I kept very quiet about the situation for most of the process, only telling a few trusted colleagues, but overall they were incredibly helpful throughout.
The operation went really well. Lou and I weren’t on the same ward for recovery, so I didn’t get to see her until three days after the operation. I recovered very quickly once I got over the initial nausea (I’ve never really been good with anaesthetics). It was a very busy ward, but I was very well looked after and was out by the Thursday (having had my operation on Monday). When the district nurse visited me for a check-up, she didn’t believe I was her patient as I looked so well!
Lou took a little longer to recover than I did, but after a few weeks the improvement was incredible. In fact, a few months after the transplant we had a black humour moment during a family get together. The lift was out of order, so I asked if she’d be okay climbing the stairs. “Of course I will,” she responded, “I’ve got more kidneys than you do!”
Lou continued working full time before being accepted into training to become a vicar, so went down to part-time. She was due to be ordained in Liverpool in September 2020, but sadly in August 2019 it was discovered that she needed open heart surgery for a damaged valve and blocked coronary arteries. She had surgery a few months later but never fully recovered and passed away in early January 2020. I was with her when she died, which the whole family found very fitting.
