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Mandy’s Story

My cousin Lou is 10 years younger than me, but despite our age difference, the two of us have always had an extremely close relationship. I was brought up by our grandmother as my mum died when I was a baby. Lou’s dad was my mum’s younger brother, and always had a big input in my life.  

Lou was first diagnosed with problems when she was about 2 years old and used to pass out for quite long periods of time. Her sister tells me she was born with one kidney larger than the other, which was scarred and affected the health of the smaller one. Lou was in and out of Alder Hey Children’s Hospital all her childhood before being transferred to The Royal once she was 18.

Living kidney donor Mandy with her younger cousin and kidney recipient Lou

Lou had her first kidney taken out when she was 17, in the middle of her A-level studies. She didn’t let this affect any more than it needed to, successfully graduating from work and finding a job for herself, however she had her second kidney out at 24 and was put on dialysis. All while holding down a busy full-time job. 

She was on dialysis for about 10 years before she received her first kidney transplant from a deceased donor. I volunteered to be her donor and was told during the testing process that I was an acceptable-but-not-perfect match, however amazingly she was told that a deceased donor was an even better match for her so she went with that option. I’ll never forget the day when my young daughter and I were catching a train to London when we heard the news that her transplant came through. I was crying with joy and still on the phone with her as we boarded the quiet carriage of the train. My daughter disarmed the two frosty-looking ladies staring at us by saying “My mummy can’t help it. My auntie Lou got a kidney and she hasn’t done a wee for 10 years!”

That kidney lasted for over eight years before it began to fail. After that, Lou was told she would need a live donation. Again, I offered my kidney and we restarted the process to see if I was still healthy enough to donate.  

I went through all the tests at Liverpool. I’d been through everything before, so they weren’t too onerous. Once everything was checked, I was told that I was still able to donate a kidney to my cousin. They explained that we still weren’t a great match for one another, however receiving a kidney from a living donor offers so many benefits that it was definitely still worth it. 

We worked with the hospital to find a suitable operation date that worked for everyone (I didn’t want it happening during my daughter’s GCSEs). I had one final round of tests the week before the operation, then was admitted into hospital the evening before the surgery. My husband and daughter stayed in Lou’s house while I was in hospital, and our older boys stayed at home (for dog-minding duties!). 

I’ll always be grateful to my managers at my job for sanctioning my leave. I kept very quiet about the situation for most of the process, only telling a few trusted colleagues, but overall they were incredibly helpful throughout. 

The operation went really well. Lou and I weren’t on the same ward for recovery, so I didn’t get to see her until three days after the operation. I recovered very quickly once I got over the initial nausea (I’ve never really been good with anaesthetics). It was a very busy ward, but I was very well looked after and was out by the Thursday (having had my operation on Monday). When the district nurse visited me for a check-up, she didn’t believe I was her patient as I looked so well!

Lou took a little longer to recover than I did, but after a few weeks the improvement was incredible. In fact, a few months after the transplant we had a black humour moment during a family get together. The lift was out of order, so I asked if she’d be okay climbing the stairs. “Of course I will,” she responded, “I’ve got more kidneys than you do!” 

Lou continued working full time before being accepted into training to become a vicar, so went down to part-time. She was due to be ordained in Liverpool in September 2020, but sadly in August 2019 it was discovered that she needed open heart surgery for a damaged valve and blocked coronary arteries. She had surgery a few months later but never fully recovered and passed away in early January 2020. I was with her when she died, which the whole family found very fitting.  

Living kidney donor Lou with the rest of her family, including her kidney recipient and cousin Lou.

I can never adequately describe my love for Lou, nor my admiration for the way she lived her life to the full. Her funeral was attended by so many people paying their well-deserved tributes to her. It was my absolute privilege to be able to improve her life.  

When people talk to me about my apparent bravery in what I did, I just reply that it was something I could do for her. If she had asked me to go on the rides with her at Alton Towers, now that would have been the biggest challenge of my life! But all I did was what I could, with very little effort on my part. I would encourage anyone who is fit and able to consider giving the gift of life.  

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