"It is a journey I would choose again and again."
Back in September 2018, my husband Andy’s health was deteriorating. His head was buried in the sand a bit regarding his kidney disease, but after a difficult summer he finally saw his specialist. They told him his function had dropped massively, and he was classed as being in kidney failure. He was too overweight for a transplant at that point and the feeling from the specialist was that he would be on dialysis by Christmas.
Being a science teacher, I knew a kidney transplant was a consideration if Andy was able to sort his weight out. He started running, and I followed suit soon after. In April 2019 he was healthy enough to be deemed okay for the transplant!
I put myself forward to be considered. We had always joked he only loved me for being the same blood type, but seriously I couldn’t not try for the sake of our daughters, Dannielle aged 14 and Rosalie aged 11 (at the time). Andy’s parents and brother were ruled out of donation due to ill health and diabetes.
I started the testing process in the summer of 2019. They were long hours at the hospital. I kept on running, both to keep me fit and also because I was told that it would help me to recover quicker after the transplant.
In October that year we had a meeting with the transplant consultant at the Royal Liverpool Hospital. He told us although I was a good match, the idea of a better match would be possible through the ‘sharing scheme’, where my kidney would go to someone else waiting for a kidney who was a better match to me, and then Andy would also get a better-matching kidney from someone else looking to donate. We decided to go for it.
We continued to run and stay healthy and positive while we waited for the operation. Our first operation date was scheduled for April 2020, though this was postponed due to the pandemic.
Unfortunately over the next few years we had several tough close calls where we would be given a date for our transplant, only for it to be cancelled for one reason or another. One time we had got to the point where we were both in hospital and I had an arrow drawn on me pointing to my kidney, before it was cancelled at the last minute due to a cough. They made it clear the whole time that the transplant would only take place if they were certain it would be a success and we were both healthy enough for the operations. It took a long time before I could accept that it was not my fault and there was nothing I could have done to change what had happened. It just wasn’t our time.
Andy’s health deteriorating further, to the point where his kidneys were only functions at 5-6% of their capacity. He began peritoneal dialysis in October 2021. I couldn’t go to the training on how to do his dialysis, as I had covid and had to isolate for 10 days, so I used the time to read the manuals and watch lots of videos, to support Andy with this next step on our journey.
Moving into 2022, dialysis continued for Andy in a positive way. I became good at setting up the machine for him and started sleeping through the noise at night. We were still being put into the sharing scheme each quarter that year, but we heard nothing. That is, until August 2022.
I vividly remember the day. I was at the commonwealth games in Birmingham for the first day of athletics. Ann, our transplant coordinator, called and told us the news that we had been matched, and they wanted the operation to happen by September before they moved into a new hospital building.
The emotions rolled back in. It was a real rollercoaster, up and down again just as before. I was excited again for Andy, but scared of the real prospect of my cough returning and the operation being cancelled again. Where should we put our girls? What would work say?
This time the operation wasn’t cancelled (though it was delayed until November in the new hospital). No cough. No isolation time required. Everything went to plan!
We went in on a Wednesday. We had our own rooms, ensuite, flat screen TV. I was made to feel I was the most important person in the world! Food and drinks brought to me as needed until 10pm. I could visit Andy’s room and he could come to mine.
Overnight I was put on a drip and arrows were drawn on my left side once again. It felt so real and so different this time to the last. I remember Andy sitting with me on Thursday morning. We played Uno whilst waiting for the anaesthetist and porters. He held me before I was taken on my trolley to theatre. I was terrified as I had not had an operation before and I was fully aware there was still time for it to not happen, right up until I was put under.
My hospital bed wouldn’t fit into the anaesthetic room, so straight into theatre I went. I had my wooden cross in my hand and kept my eyes closed the whole time as I didn’t want to remember the cold, silver sterile room. The mask went on, and I don’t remember a thing until I woke up hours later, cross still in my hand.
My operation went well, my kidney had been successfully transplanted into my recipient. Andy’s operation went well with only a few hiccups. His new kidney was working well (and still is)!
I didn’t realise before, but this was the start of hardest part. The recovery period. My own recovery was textbook. Out of bed on the Friday, walking on the Saturday, then dispatched from hospital and home on the Sunday. From there, it was even easier to recovery at home. My wounds healed well, and the World Cup was on for November and December, so there were loads of football on TV!
Andy came home on the Wednesday after me. Our family and friends were a massive help. Meals were cooked, and our girls were taxied about so their life could be as normal as possible. By January I was back in work as a teacher. Work were really good and understanding. I was allowed a phased return, and was back to full time by April.
The only issues I have had since is tiredness and feeling the cold a lot more than before. Thermals were my favourite birthday gift in 2023! The fatigue is still an issue now, two years on. Bedtime is now about 9-9.30 and I am asleep so quickly!
I hope that my story is helpful for someone else. The journey from making that choice back in 2019, to being tested, to having the operation and the recovery journey after has been a rollercoaster, both physically and mentally. But it is a journey I would choose again and again, even had I known what it would involve, and one I could only make due to the support and love of friends and family.
"I hope my story shows just what a wonderful, life-saving gift it is to donate a kidney."
Read"I’ve seen how donating a kidney can improve a family and give somebody back their life after years of suffering.”
Read"If I had three kidneys, I’d absolutely donate another one tomorrow, unquestionably."
Read“I’m a great believer that when you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”
Read"It’s now been almost 13 years since I donated, and nothing has changed in terms of my health or my lifestyle."
Read"Here was a chance to do something kind without having to wait for someone I know to need my support."
Read"Seeing how it helped my brother has made it all so, so worth it. As much as the journey was scary, it’s proven to be so rewarding."
Read“I wanted to share my kidney donation story to help build awareness of the good that we all can do to help someone worse off.”
Read“It’s amazing how a small amount of inconvenience on my part can make such a huge difference to someone else.”
Read20 years ago, David's enthusiasm for life was put to the test when he found out his kidneys were failing and he would need a transplant.
ReadAisha is determined to raise awareness of living kidney donation and encourage more people in South Asian communities to consider donating.
Read"My husband was living on dialysis, and I saw the constant reality of what that meant for him."
Read"I set myself clear goals to return to fitness and running after my kidney donation."
Read"This is me, Louise Sach, shortly after I was diagnosed with chronic renal failure."
Read"It has now been over a year since my donation. I have zero pain or discomfort, and I am entirely back to normal with nothing but a scar to remind me of my experience."
ReadRachel already knew more than she wanted to about the process of kidney donation before she gave her spare kidney to someone she didn’t know.
ReadHenry donated a kidney to his sister Helen, and has seen first-hand the difference a donation can make for someone with kidney disease.
Read“It has made absolutely no difference to my day-to-day life. My mum, however, has a life like never before.”
ReadNaomi knew she wanted to donate a kidney after learning about kidney disease and reality of life on dialysis.
ReadJoyce thought that she was too old to donate a kidney, before learning there was no upper age limit for donating.
ReadMandy donated one of her kidneys to her younger cousin Lou, who was diagnosed with kidney problems when she was two years old.
Read"I don’t consider myself to be a hero or brave. I just did what I was brought up to do – to help others."
ReadJulie worked hard to stay fit and healthy while she was preparing to donate a kidney to her nephew.
Read"At the beginning it seemed like a difficult decision to make, but since the operation I don’t have any regrets."
ReadTessa believes that donating a kidney to a stranger is one of the best decisions she's ever made.
ReadLynn was 75 when she donated a kidney altruistically. "I knew I wanted to do it if I was capable of doing so."
Read“You don’t need to be a superhero, you don’t need to be a mega star of any sort. It’s something that normal people just like me can do."
ReadLaura knew she would donate a kidney to her sister if she needed it. When the time came, she found the process absolutely worth it.
ReadMatt's dream of joining the police was shattered by an unexpected diagnosis of kidney disease, but his mother's kidney donation allowed him to thrive and pursue new dreams.
Read"I've learnt a lot about myself and my own health – I would do it again in a heartbeat (if I had another kidney to spare!)"
Read"I believe that if you are in a position to help someone else less fortunate than yourself, then you should do so."
ReadEvery kidneyversary deserves a celebration, but in 2024 Elaine marked a particularly poignant milestone – 10 years since she donated a kidney to her eldest daughter.
Read"I feel immeasurably better in myself knowing I have been able to give my brother the gift of a healthy life."
ReadDennis is keen to show people that you can still live your life as normal and achieve great things after donating a kidney.
ReadWhen Ali heard that a former colleague was waiting for a kidney transplant, he knew within minutes that he would offer one of his.
Read"My mum needed a kidney, and I didn’t need both of mine. When I heard that, I didn't have any hesitation."
ReadKathryn faced life-changing kidney failure after being diagnosed with the rare disease, IgA vasculitis.
ReadMarianne has seen first hand the benefits that kidney donation can bring to a family, and feels blessed that she was able to donate a kidney to her brother.
ReadBen felt drained by kidney disease for over 12 years before his cousin gave him a second chance at life by donating his kidney.
ReadJulie donated to her son and knows first hand that donating an organ doesn’t just save a person. It saves a family.
ReadAnne donated into the UK Living Kidney Sharing Scheme so that her brother could receive a kidney transplant.
Read"Within both the Jain and Hindu faiths benevolence to others is supposed to be a key principle. What could be a greater act of benevolence than transforming someone’s life by giving them part of yourself?"
Read"If I had more Kidneys to give, I'd be donating to anyone who needed one."
ReadTrainee teacher Mark is grateful for the life-saving kidney transplant from his brother that put him back on track for life and his career.
ReadSheldon & Hayley watched their daughter Daisy-May go from a shock diagnosis of kidney failure to dialysis, then transplant, in an emotional rollercoaster lasting 16 months.
ReadMy donor gave me a life to live for. I have done things I had never considered doing whilst on dialysis.
Read"If I had another kidney to spare, I would donate in a heartbeat. It was life changing for my husband, and for me as a person."
ReadDavid is just an average Joe. A motorcycling, 54-year-old father and grandfather. And 6 years ago, he donated one of his kidneys to someone who needed it more than he did.
Read40 years ago, Kathleen donated one of her kidneys to Cheryl, who was just five years old at the time.
Read"Giving a small part of me that I didn’t need to someone else would make little difference in my life, but a huge difference in theirs – it was an easy decision for me to make."
ReadLiz's family struggled at first with her determination to donate her kidney to someone unrelated to her.
Read"I donated a kidney to my dad 10 years ago, aged 25. To me, it was a no brainer."
ReadSarah had seen the life-changing difference donating a kidney could have, and immediately knew it was something she wanted to do.
ReadI would not feel as comfortable in my own skin as I do now if I had not donated my kidney.
ReadPete’s kidney gave me my life back and gave my son Edward a mum with energy and vitality.
ReadWhether you’ve already decided to donate a kidney, or you are interested in finding out more about the process and what it involves, we’re here to answer any questions you might have.
