A strategy consultant from Walthamstow has an extraordinary reason to celebrate his mum on Mother’s Day, after she donated a kidney that transformed his life.
Paul Vallois, 49, was unexpectedly diagnosed with kidney disease in 2011 and needed emergency dialysis after he went into kidney failure later that year.
Paul says: “If it wasn’t for my mum donating a kidney in September 2011, I would have needed long-term dialysis treatment that would have greatly impacted life for me, my wife, Sarah, and our two children, Myla, 16, and Casper, 14.
“Every year we celebrate my kidneyversary by getting Mum a nice bunch of flowers and a card. It takes a while to write because it’s hard to put into words how much the transplant means to me. A lot goes on every year, and it’s an opportunity to recognise what she has enabled me and my family to do – whether that’s places we’ve been or things we’ve done. None of it would be possible without her.”
Symptoms never felt serious
At the beginning of 2011, Paul was living a busy and active life. His daughter, Myla, was two, and son, Casper, was just a few months old. He was renovating a house, working for an agency in London, and keeping active with exercise.
Paul says: “I’d been feeling tired and getting lots of migraines, but I put that down to how much I had going on. Exercise exhausted me quicker than usual, but I thought maybe being a busy dad had given me less time to build my fitness. I rationalised everything away, so my symptoms never felt serious or interconnected.
“When I visited my parents, they were concerned that I looked unwell. My skin was irritable and itchy, and my mum strongly encouraged me to visit the GP. My blood pressure was way higher than it should have been, and I received a call that night telling me to go straight to A&E. That was scary because I wasn’t expecting it at all.
“I was admitted to Whipps Cross Hospital for two nights, before being transferred to the renal unit at The Royal London Hospital, where I was diagnosed with IgA nephropathy. They got my blood pressure under control and discharged me three days later with some medication.
“I thought I was over the worst of it, but I went to see the consultant a few weeks later, and was told my kidney function had fallen to 25%. At every subsequent visit, it dropped further, until my kidneys began to fail. It was a rapid decline and the need for a kidney transplant became urgent to avoid dialysis.”
Finding a kidney
A kidney transplant is the best treatment option for patients facing kidney failure. However, adults in the UK currently wait an average of 18 months to receive one after being added to the transplant waiting list.
Finding a compatible living kidney donor instead provides several advantages, including increasing the average length of time the kidney will last to 20-25 years, from 15-20 years with a deceased donor.
Paul says: “It was a worry that if my transplant didn’t happen quickly, I could be on dialysis for a long time. I had to start having conversations with friends and family about live organ donation, and both my parents put themselves forward to donate.
“It was emotional, and I was blown away by their generosity. I had lots of anxiety about their welfare because I didn’t want anything to compromise their quality of life. There was relief that a new kidney would transform my life, but also the fear of what it could do to theirs. It was a lot to process.
“My kidneys failed in September 2011, and I was placed on emergency dialysis. Fortunately, having gone through all the tests and preparation in the months before, I was able to receive a transplant from my mum, only needing dialysis for two days.
“After a few weeks, the kidney was working well and there was no sign of rejection. Mum was healthy, and I felt stronger every day with the support of my wife, who was on maternity leave. Fourteen years later, there is still medicine to take and appointments to attend, but my kidney function is stable.
